You must love yourself. Practice self-love. I can love myself better… Loving oneself is a strong message today, but with so much self-love, why are we will not happy and why is the world so broken?  In this third and final week of message series, Relationship Goals, we’ll look at what Jesus and early Christians thought about God’s love and how this can help us find a healthy sense of self-love and identity. We ‘ll also discover how self-love is only truly life-giving if coupled with self-accountability!

Groups Discussion Guide

To view a .docx version of this guide, click here.

Introduction 

Welcome, everyone! Last week, we focused on being intentional in strengthening our relationships. How did that go for you throughout the week? Were you able to take steps toward improving any particular relationship? Share with the group about your experience.

After your time of connecting, begin your meeting with prayer.

Key Verse for the Week  

*Read this verse, then encourage the practice of memorization throughout the week.

*Matthew 22:37–39 is the foundation for this three-week sermon series, Relationship Goals. We already memorized the majority of the passage about loving God and your neighbor, let’s add the final section!

“You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39)

**When practiced consistently, memorizing Bible verses can be an important spiritual practice that centers your mind around the truth that God has given us.

Connect   

• Share with the group one thing that you like about yourself – something that you’re thankful God created about you.
• Discuss what self-acceptance means to you. Do you find self-acceptance to be a challenge? Why or why not?

Opening Thought  

In today’s culture, the concept of self-love is often discussed. Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves, implying a natural inclination toward self-love. However, true fulfillment in self-love comes not from ego or achievements but from understanding our value through God’s eyes.

Big idea for the week  
Through a relationship with Jesus, we can love ourselves as God loves us.

Unpack 

Go around your group and have someone read each of the following verses, then discuss the connected questions.  

Read  

John 3:16–17 – “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.”

Unpack

• In Sunday’s message, Pastor Jason shared with us that God’s essential posture towards each of us is love. How do these verses reflect that posture?
• How does knowing that you are loved by God change how you treat yourself and others?

Read  

Genesis 1:27 – So God created human beings in his own image.
    In the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

Isaiah 64:8 – And yet, O Lord, you are our Father.
    We are the clay, and you are the potter.
    We all are formed by your hand.

Psalm 139:13–16 – You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.

Unpack 

• What do these verses say about how God views us?
• How can having an understanding of God’s intricate knowledge of us help us grasp God’s acceptance of us?
• What do these verses teach us about God’s plan for us in the world? In our families, friendships, workplaces, etc.?

Romans 12:3-8 – Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.

In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.

Unpack 

• In verse 3, Paul says: “Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves…” What do you think Paul wants us to take away from this wisdom? How can we balance humility with an appreciation of our unique gifts and roles in God’s plan?
• Paul has given a list of some of the gifts God gives us. Do any of these resonate with you? How does that gift currently play out in your life? What do you think God might be calling you to do with that gift?
• Do you ever find yourself comparing yourself to others? What can this passage teach us about God’s thoughts on comparison?

2 Corinthians 10:12 – Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!

Unpack 

• Why is comparing ourselves with others not wise according to Paul?
• How can we focus more on fulfilling our individual callings instead of measuring our worth by others’ standards?

Apply 

Based on the verses we just read, and Sunday’s message, there are some things that we can do in response. Take a moment to discuss these questions as a group to decide what your personal action steps for the week can be:

• Identify one area of your life where you often find yourself making comparisons. Commit to transforming how you view this area by reminding yourself every day of God’s unique purpose for you.
• On Sunday, Pastor Jason encouraged us to read Ephesians 1:3–14 each day and bask in the truths God says about us. As you read, see yourself in the passage, and note which areas of the passage are a challenge for you to accept about yourself. Ask God to help you see yourself as he sees you.
• Discuss as a group how you can help each other this week in embracing and living out this truth of being uniquely loved and valued by God.

Closing 

Remember, our Big Idea this week was: through a relationship with Jesus, we can love ourselves as God loves us. Sometimes the idea of loving ourselves can seem counter-intuitive, or self-serving, but God desires that we each grow in an understanding of who he has created us to be. God desires that we love ourselves. The more we invite Jesus into our thoughts and feelings about ourselves, the more we can understand the concept of self-acceptance and love. Let this understanding transform how we live, leading us to love ourselves and others better.

Prayer 

Let’s share any additional prayer requests that you have.  

Daily Devotional Verses  

Use the S.O.A.P. method to reflect on the verses below. 

Scripture: Read the verses several times. Reading out loud can be helpful as well. 
Observation: What can you see about the scripture you read? 
Application: What is God wanting you to believe, do, or feel, based on what you have read? 
Prayer: This is a chance to talk to God about what you have read and ask him for help in living out what you’ve learned. 

• Day 1 – Day 6: Ephesians 1:3-14
  • This week’s daily devotional verses were shared with us in Sunday’s sermon. Pastor Jason encouraged us to read this passage each day and bask in the truths God says about us. As you read, see yourself in the passage, and note which areas of the passage are a challenge for you to accept about yourself.