Why do some relationships feel life-giving while others leave us drained? We all want meaningful connection, yet we often fall into patterns that keep our relationships from growing in healthy ways. In this message, we’ll see how Jesus models both mutual care and healthy boundaries, showing us a better way to relate to one another. We’ll learn how small, intentional steps can strengthen our connections—not only for our own well-being, but in ways that shape our kids and the next generation toward healthier relationships as well.
Discussion Guide
To view the Leader Guide for this week, click here.
To view a .docx version of this guide, click here.
Before you begin, spend some time together in prayer
Introduction
Last week, we talked about emotional milestones and how we can work through them with God; our action step was to let God guide your responses to your stressful situations. Spend some time discussing how everyone has been able to put this into practice this week.
This week, we are discussing social milestones, specifically awareness, reciprocity, ownership, and boundaries.
Connect
- What helps you feel comfortable and appreciated in your friendships?
Opening
We all bring different experiences and expectations into our relationships, which shape how they feel and function. Often, we carry habits, both positive and negative, that we’ve picked up along the way without even realizing it. Because of this, it can be easy to settle for connections that are one sided or inconsistent because that is what we are used to. God’s vision for our friendships, however, is that they be built on a foundation of mutual respect and individual responsibility, rather than just convenience or habit.
This leads us to our main idea for this week
Jesus can help us nurture healthy relationships.
Unpack
Read each set of verses out loud as a group, making observations as you go. Afterward discuss each of the connected questions before moving to the next set of verses:
Read
Colossians 3:12-14
John 15:12
Romans 12:10-13
Romans 15:2
Galatians 6:4-5
- What stands out to you in the verses you just read?
- What do these verses show are some markers for healthy friendships?
- Which one of these markers do you think is the hardest for you to practice consistently in your relationships with others?
Pastor Jason, during his message on Sunday talked about the idea that most healthy relationships practice reciprocity, meaning they are mutual beneficial to each other, as well as ownership, meaning each person knows and keeps track of their own responsibilities and obligations.
- Why do you think mutual care is important in relationships?
- What could make mutual care in your friendships difficult?
- Reflect for a moment on some of your relationships. What are some ways you could reciprocate more in your friendships?
- If you feel comfortable, share one relationship with your group that you need to approach with more reciprocity.
- How do we keep track of what our responsibilities and obligations in a relationship should be?
- What area of personal growth do you need to take more ownership of within your relationships?
Action Step
Take a step toward healthier connection in one relationship by practicing reciprocity and ownership.
- This can be sending an encouraging message, checking in and listening, follow through on something you said you’d do but haven’t yet, or take responsibility for a needed conversation.
- This could even be that one of your relationships lacks reciprocity with you. What can you do to start a gracious conversation about this over the next week?
Closing
Our social health can many times be shaped by patterns we’ve learned over time in our relationships, even without realizing it. This can cause us to stick with friendships that don’t fully support or challenge us. God, however, invites us to rethink how we view our friendships to have healthier and more balanced relationships.
Pray Together
Pray for the Missionary Focus this week, then take prayer requests from your group and conclude your time in prayer for your group.
Missionary Focus
Mark and Lisa De Neui
**For some of our missionaries, certain details are kept private to protect their safety and the sensitive nature of their work. Thank you for understanding as we share what we can.:
Mark trains church leaders and church planters. Lisa teaches English as a Foreign Language.
Prayer Requests:
- That their disciple making ministry would continue to grow
- For the local students, who are perusing an education in English, to be receptive to the receiving the word of God
Spend a few minutes in prayer for Mark and Lisa
Reflection Verse for the Week
*Read this verse, then encourage the practice of reflection and memorization throughout the week.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”
**When practiced consistently, memorizing Bible verses can be an important spiritual practice that centers your mind around the truth that God has given us.
Daily Devotional Verses
Use the S.O.A.P. method to reflect on the verses below.
Scripture: Read the verses several times. Reading out loud can be helpful as well.
Observation: What can you see about the scripture you read?
Application: What is God wanting you to believe, do, or feel, based on what you have read?
Prayer: This is a chance to talk to God about what you have read and ask him for help in living out what you’ve learned.
Day 1: 1 John 3:17-18
Day 2: Proverbs 3:27
Day 3: Proverbs 27:17
Day 4: John 13:35
Day 5: 1 Corinthians 16:14
Day 6: Hebrews 13:1